Friday, February 12, 2010

Green...and all it's many shades

Valentine's Day is exactly 48 hours away.

And while most of the world is seeing pink and red, I'm seeing green.

Not sage.
Nor zesty lime.
Neither ripe avocado.
Or even pretty apple green.

Envy green.

What?!

You probably won't hear it being introduced as an emerging hot color, you know, as in, envy is the new black. Nope. But, I can guarantee it is one of the oldest colors known to woman.

I am thoroughly enjoying this new lifestyle of living in our RV, yet I have to be real with you and tell you that there are things I miss about my life before. I have thought about these things I miss several times since we left home, but am being revisited with them again because of so much talk surrounding Valentine's Day.

About twice a year, I would get a pedicure. Once a year, maybe a massage. Couple times a year, I'd get my hair done. These were mostly gifts, but I didn't think twice about accepting them versus passing them along to someone else.

Vain?  Maybe.
Indulgent?  Probably.
Selfish?  Likely.

But oh, how I miss them.

I miss eating out too. Granted, it is healthier for me to cook, especially if we are somewhere that doesn't offer a good selection of truly healthy foods, but I do miss it.

There are trade-offs to many choices in life and these are just some things I have to forfeit. At least for right now. We have a life that many envy. Irony at its finest! After having been OTR for 7 months now, it is our life. Not a vacation. I know that's hard to understand. But our daily life is pretty much the same. There hasn't been much lost in translation, but there are a few significant things.

We don't travel as much as we had initially planned. We travel a bit. Park a bit. Travel some. Park some. God has had so many different plans for us than we did.

The journey is amazing.
Frustrating.
Uplifting.
Exciting.
Humbling.

I am so blessed to have this opportunity.

No doubt that it is where I am supposed to be.
No doubt that it is taking me somewhere better than I could have ever imagined.
No doubt that in the meantime, God is preparing me for something.

In the meantime, I will fess up to my vanity and envy and be reminded of His infinite goodness and the blessings and treats that I do have everyday. I will be happy for others who are able to enjoy the small luxuries in this life, and pass on a luxury or two that I have.

Getting real about the state of my heart is, well... the state of my heart.

Keyword emphasized.

I don't share it very often, and I will just stifle the urge to think about how many people might read this.

Deep breaths, deep breaths.
Inhale.
Exhale.

So, there you have it. I have made good on my New Year's Resolution to "let people in" this year. To expose my shortcomings, my weaknesses, and my strongholds. I will say it is easier behind a computer screen... Don't hate. Congratulate. Baby steps, people  :)

When and if I am able, I had given thought to painting the kitchen in the RV an apple green color.

I'm reconsidering.

I think I've had my fill of green this week. In any shade.

4 comments:

  1. I know what you mean. It is hard to believe how many things I used to do...get pedicures, facials, read fashion magazines, buy shoes, expensive handbags, etc...okay, not ALL the time but those are things I enjoyed, particularly when economic times were good.

    Now I don't have any of that. This new lifestyle isn't really conducive to that stuff anyway though so that makes it easier for me to not feel like I'm missing much. I mean, it's not like I can tramp around in high heels at a campground so I'm okay that I don't own any nice shoes anymore...

    Sometimes I really miss that stuff though;)

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  2. Thank you for sharing :) We can commiserate together! There have been many, many things we have seen, places we've been, and opportunities we've had, that we would've never been able to had we not taken this journey. On days like this one, I try to remember all the fun things we've experienced, and it does help.

    On the flip side, I am still a woman!...

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  3. Jennifer, I can so relate. The funny thing is that, now that we are home for a short break, I am missing things about Full-time RVing. Everyday one of our children say "we could go to ... (they insert a state)" then say, "when are we leaving?" Another thing that I have learned is that it seems like we are on VACATION at home. I had a lady tell me several months ago, "You need to realize that God has called you into a LIFESTYLE not a VACATION." These are words that God has used in my life over and over the past 2 weeks at home. I am with you... I miss the little things but on the flip side ... now I miss the big adventures.

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  4. hey mom you hav not posted in awhile. i love you sooooooo much:)

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