(originally written March 15, 2009)
Lost the aspiration, not the inspiration.
Lost the will, the stamina, the purposed effort.
The will to create and do.
My efforts of doing have been applied to the wrong deeds.
Mindless, numb thinking, in circles.
Rotating and swirling down into the abyss of blindness.
Hearing, but not seeing.
Clarity left. She slipped away almost unnoticed, yet abruptly. I missed her and knew she had taken her bow.
The first step to getting my groove back.
To rethreading the gears.
I hear my niche faintly calling through the fog. Self-absorption of circumstances and mindset has spun its ugly web of deception and defeat.
Where has the woman gone who pushed the envelpe with a belief system not so politically correct, long before it became progressive orthodox or mainstream?
What happened to the woman who ushered myself and others into thought provoking evaluation of their own lives?
Where is she?
She is reemerging.
She is reaching and stretching through the hardened soil, groggy from years of dormancy. This is the year to relocate and reestablish that woman as a progressive and essential organism of society.
Her existence will count.
She will again become a force to be reckoned with.
Her debut is imminent.
Her one act, one-hit wonder life is over.
The horizon is looking clearer, my friend, and I am eagerly waiting to be center stage once more.
No more understudy life.
I've got the lead role and I'm running with it.